We have been adopting the Sir Humphrey approach quite a lot with getting L to do things now shes in the terrible twos. This is something I remember from an episode of the comedy Yes Minister, where Sir Humphrey Appleby is explaining how you get a minister to do what you want while preserving the illusion of his free choice. The secret is to give him briefing papers outlining two possible options, either of which is acceptable to the civil service. This works surprising well with L and at her age you dont have to make the options that different e.g. when shes balking at putting on her shorts, Which leg do you want to put in first? However, a couple of nights ago, when we were employing our standard method of getting her to go upstairs: Do you want to walk upstairs or be carried up? she came back with the devastating answer: I want to think about it.